There is no control issue until you say
NO!!!!
Think about it, before then it’s an agreement. But once one of us says:
“It has to be my way!”
Now you are stuck. And in most arguments this is where we get caught.
“You don’t care about me!”
“Well, you don’t care about me!”
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So let’s take a look at
CONTROL
What do we really have control over?
Another? Hardly.
Just ourselves. Our thoughts, our beliefs, our words, and our actions. Our reactions!
So if you say it has to be your way, what can I say?
- Ok, since I have no say.
- This doesn’t really work for me, can we talk about this?
- Go right ahead and do what you want, but since I am not considered I won’t be joining you,
There are many ways you can choose to respond when it feels like another is exerting pressure.
Where do you feel you try to control another?
And where do you feel you are controlled?
These are important questions to ask to see where you come through for yourself and where you don’t. Most of us don’t realize that we often give up our power and then blame the other.
Do you let yourself slip into victim mode?
I do. Rarely, but I do sometimes.
Where do you struggle with this?
I’d love to hear!
