DIFFICULT PEOPLE
Dr Tomi Michell
Letting others have the last laugh it's not necessarily a sign of weakness. Have you ever met that special person, regardless of how logical you are, patient and trying to explain why certain actions need to be taken on a certain project for the benefit of the team? Long-term, they still push back and fight you because they feel their way is the only way. Have you ever felt frustrated after you try to be accommodating, patient and a team player, but this person refuses to even acknowledge an ounce of reason; you are not alone? According to studies, 20% of workers have to deal with these challenging individuals and leave due to toxic workplace cultures. (Elizabeth T., 2021)
I think calling these individuals challenging is very diplomatic and almost too kind to really explain the amount of damage that they can inflict on an otherwise healthy team environment. Failure to recognize these individuals for who they are and what they're about can break down a team, delay promotions, and much more.
Life has taught me that sometimes the best answer and the wisest response is to disengage and walk away. After all, if somebody is laughing sterically by themselves and nobody is watching, listening, and frankly nobody cares, how does that make that person look? In my coaching practice, I call these individuals energy vampires; they take pleasure and take joy from situations, and they like to bring attention to themselves; to help them mask their deep insecurity. They can be chameleons pretending to be for the team and supportive, but behind closed doors, they are anything but supportive.
Some people purposely provoke you and use your reaction to work against you. Don't give them that satisfaction. They will look for chances to drag you down to their level or to make you as miserable as they are. Don't take the bait. When you recognize the pattern and the behavior, choose how or not to react.
Additionally, these people are good manipulators. Keep your details away from them, and be cautious about what information to share with them. They can use these to destroy you and make you feel demotivated or stressed. Keep your interactions on a professional level only.
One of the lessons I had to learn in my personal unprofessional life is to identify these individuals and be able to stop them in their tracks. So many people spend years of decades bending over forward and backward, being drained emotionally, and financially where their productivity is robbed because they made the mistake of thinking that reason, patience, and goodwill will persuade these individuals to do better. I'm sorry to break it to you, but it doesn't, and you're actually wasting your time; you are delaying your blessings in life, and frankly, you are allowing it to steal your joy.
Not all cases of these individuals are straightforward, but as you become more skilled and deal with them, as you become more aware of the ways in which you make yourself vulnerable to their antics, the more powerful you will become. Sometimes, it's better to let them think they have the last laugh. The key is pink. Because they lack the emotional maturity, the inside, and frankly, the ability to look at things in depth, they may never truly understand that they are in which they think that they are laughing about is nothing more than a short-term gloat.
It's crucial to remember that every person has a unique personality and temperament. You can identify difficult people by how challenging it is for you to relate to or understand them. Typically, they don't have empathy or care about other people. They try to rub it on other people's faces since they feel so much better than they do. Remembering that everyone has a life outside of work is the first step in dealing with a problematic coworker. With everything going on in the globe, many people are struggling, but for some people, stress from their personal life sometimes causes them to feel like they can't leave it at the door. Even if they present a challenge at the time, it's typically a good idea to approach individuals with empathy. This does not imply that you cannot or ought not to establish limitations and fair ground rules. Especially if your coworker's actions interfere with how well you do your job. Because it's a fact that individuals occasionally just need some empathy, but other times there may be a personality conflict at play, and recognizing your part in that is crucial.
You can halt the negative emotional spirals by altering your attitude toward negativity and refraining from engaging in conflict with conflict. You might investigate the circumstance further to determine whether you have any important lessons to learn. Ask yourself softly, "What lesson do I need to learn now?" as you go deeper into your heart. And observe your internal reactions. You can always evolve as a result of your inner reactions. When you concentrate on having a good outlook, you draw in more of the same upbeat energy. You are drawing in good energy by shifting your attention away from the disagreement and toward a more pleasant viewpoint.
In the end, what matters the most is your peace, happiness, and joy and your ability to get up each day with a clear conscience. I told my clients, and those who know me know this very well; what matters is that, at the end of the day, you know who you are and what you stand for. Also, the people that matter to you are those that really have an impact on you, they know who you are and honestly, at the end of the day that is all that matters. So many of you are busy carrying the weight of others' opinions, other people’s thoughts, or their expectations of you. I challenge you and encourage you to start taking that weight off your shoulder and focusing on what you want for your life and how you are going to make your dreams a reality. I made this decision to do this personally and professionally some time ago, and quite frankly, I couldn't be happier, and I encourage you to do the same.
